Ayden United Methodist Church

Loving God - Serving Others - Building Christian Community

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The Sacred Shed

I’m building a shed. Nothing special, just a place to park my tools and get some of the clutter out of the house. I wanted something that would look nice and have a little more headroom than the pre-fab types you can have hauled in and dumped. So I went to the town for a building permit. There I found the need not only for a building permit, but for a zoning thingy too; another $30.00, just to be sure I wasn’t encroaching on my property line.

“Do you have a plan?” asked the town official. “No, but I’ve got a guy who builds really good sheds and he knows what he’s doing.” I said (hoping that would sound reasonable). Something about the way he rolled his eyes as he smiled indicated I would probably need a plan. He handed me a plan for the foundation that would meet code, and I could pencil in some dimensions. I noticed the requirement for two foot deep footings and said, “Hey! What do I need this for? It’s just a shed.”

“That’s the code.” was the reply, which I was supposed to understand was all the explanation required. “Come back after we inspect the site and we’ll have your permit ready to go.” When I came back, there were several more pages of plans attached to the permit. These had to do with framing the building.

We have scrupulously followed directions and now have nails every 1½ inches top and bottom of the siding, hurricane clips with ten screws each on each rafter and all studs and rafters on 16 inch centers. All this sits on a reinforced concrete slab with footings and block. So far, my simple 12X16 shed has fifteen pounds of nails in it, and rather little wood left to hold them. The building is not yet complete, but that didn’t seem to bother the County Tax Assessor when he showed up to review this and possibly other additions to my property. The added expense of absurd code compliance made his job all the more enjoyable.

I have since reconsidered my original intent. I shall begin to etch cryptic symbols throughout the interior of the building. These will indicate to archeologists some 5,000 years hence that they have unearthed not a common shed, but rather the temple to the goddess Minutia, who, along with her consort, the god Redundance, govern all things mortal. Together they serve to remind humanity of its subservience to the capricious will of the celestial pantheon of divine bureaucracies. I wonder if I’ll need a permit.

All this caused me to think about the work of the church. Our primary function is to make disciples for Jesus Christ. Yet we live in such a permission oriented society that we have to follow certain codes before we begin. We have to be careful not to offend the sensitivities of insensitive people. We must not present Christianity in such a way that non-Christians might consider their own faith inferior. We may not present our views on sinful behavior so that sinners might feel guilty and seek repentance. Unfortunately, much of this caution is issued not by government, although the powers that be are starting to catch on, but by the turn-of -the-century church itself.

The endeavor to become inoffensive effectively removes from the church the pivotal role it plays not only in redeeming the lost, but of speaking out against injustice. We can already see the effects of such a vacuum in the decline of decency in the media, the indifference to true victims of crime, and the rationalization of every form of oppression and perversion. With every new condition imposed on our ability to present the Gospel freely, souls are lost and the church looks more and more like the plaything of Minutia and Redundance.

Yet the permit to present Christ to the world, or even to your neighbor, has already been issued by the highest authority. It is not a licence to offend indiscriminately. The code of conduct is actually quite simple: to present Christ in such a way that even those being criticized will know it comes from a concern for their welfare and is motivated by love. If you want to know more, the specifications can be found in your Bible.

Rev. Dennis P. Levin

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Evolution

When I was a kid, a lot of my toys were built from scratch. For raw materials I would go to the garbage bin at the food market and retrieve wooden fruit crates. Once I broke them down, I could use the boards to make a stick horse, or better yet, a scooter! Yes! just take a roller skate, you know, the kind you clamp on to your shoe…oops, they don’t clamp on to shoes any more…oh well, they used to. Anyway, you could take the skate apart in the middle and nail the halves to each end of a short board. Then you take a fruit crate and nail it to the top of the board, and then you get a skinny board and nail it to the top of the fruit crate for handles. And there you have it: a scooter! A real noisy scooter at that. Those steel wheels sound like a freight train rolling down the sidewalk. A little paint and its customized to boot. That’s how I did it when I was a kid.

Kids today wouldn’t know anything about that. They’ve got those fancy neoprene wheel jobs that fold up and store in backpacks. The things are so quiet that they can sneak up on people and about knock them over before anyone’s the wiser. The other day I saw one that had an electric motor. Now I hear that some guy has invented a scooter that’s got an electric motor and gyroscopes. He calls it “It”. Its supposed to replace the car. The bottom line is that “It” is just a scooter after all. Some folks will just have to have one, like “It” will make them “IT”. But people in cars will not envy the “Itiots” when the rain falls.

In Ecclesiastes 1:9-10, the author says,

“What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, “See, this is new”? It has already been, in the ages before us.”

Well, it may not look entirely the same, but the idea will be familiar. Human nature does not seem to have changed all that much since Bible days. We’re still trying to improve our lives, and this new year will bring a spate of inventions to “gadgetize” those little vexations we meet every day. Yet the solution to the oldest problem, us, remains the same. We still need God to do the same old stuff we’ve always needed done. Forgive us from sin, take away our sadness, and give meaning to our lives. Someone may come up with a “new idea” or a pill that they claim will do the same. But Christ is still the only real deal that doesn’t wear off or leave you out of date.

So enjoy the new year and all the discoveries that will come with it. Just remember that God doesn’t change, and that’s a good thing. Think about it when you see one of those “It” contraptions coming down the street. Who knows, maybe next year’s model will have a fruit crate on the front.

Rev. Dennis P. Levin

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Dairy Beloved

Bishop Ricardo Pereira Diaz of the Methodist Church of Cuba was our special guest at Annual Conference He told us this story.

One of his pastors was on his way from one poor, rural church to another church. He was riding his donkey on a lonely road at night. The moon was full and after a while, he came upon a cow. The preacher sensed God telling him, “Go preach to the cow.”

“No, Lord, I can’t preach to a cow.” he said.

But he heard God speaking; “Go preach to the cow.” The pastor looked around and saw he was alone. So he got down off his donkey and said, “Cow, you must repent! You must stop sinning and give your life to Jesus.” The cow ignored him and continued to graze.

“Oh well,” said the pastor, “at least no one saw me.” He got back on his donkey and continued down the road.

The next day, he stood before the congregation in the church to which he was traveling the night before. A man stood up in the back of the church, pointed a finger at him and said, “You’re the man who preached to the cow!” The preacher was shocked to have been discovered.

The man went on, “I was a thief. I was hiding behind the cow. I was there to steal that cow. I heard what you said to the cow, and I decided to stop stealing and to give my heart to Jesus. So here I am.”

I love that story. It reminds me that sermon preparation has a lot more to do with being faithful to the Gospel than it does with getting inside the heads of the congregation. How, after all, do you make the gospel relevant to a cow? Telling the story is my responsibility, hearing the story is up to the congregation and the Holy Spirit. You never know who is really listening or what God wants them to hear. Any Children’s Church will convince you of that.

Too often we assume that a person isn’t interested in our sharing the Good News. Yet if God wants us to speak up, its a sin to stay silent. God knows what the person is ready to hear and will give you the words to say. But we tell ourselves that a person really isn’t interested in our church, or that they will be offended if we talk religion or share our faith experiences. So we keep silent, convincing ourselves that we have been “sensitive.”

Our mission as Christians is to make disciples for Jesus Christ. If Jesus had been more “sensitive,” there would not have been a Calvary. Sure, some people really were offended, but they weren’t the only listeners. Others understood and accepted his message. At some point, they were bold enough to pass it on. Finally, someone passed it on to you. Now its your turn. Yes, to the person least likely to receive it. Yes, to the person who is a stranger. Yes, to the person you are most likely to offend, or who has offended you. It may seem like utter nonsense, but even if God tells you to preach to a cow…who knows?

Rev. Dennis P. Levin

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God Is My Co-Pilot….but Palm Is My Pilot

I’ve got this electronic gizmo on my belt that is supposed to keep me current with all the things I can’t remember. Things like phone numbers, names, places and places I’m supposed to be. It’s got birthdays and businesses, meetings and memos. I can download a map to anyplace USA so I don’t get lost. It even has a game or two, but I hardly ever get to play. It’s a Palm Pilot, the answer to all life’s sticky notes. So how come I still show up late sometimes? It may be due to the same sinister marketing that told us the computer would result in a “Paperless Office.” Day planners are only as good as the plan of the day, and some days aren’t planned; they just happen.

On occasion, someone will tell me that I’m hard to reach. I guess I am. After all, you have to know any of four telephone numbers, all with answering devices; any of three email addresses; either of two fax numbers; or one of four addresses. I don’t have a pager any more, thank God! What bothers me is that whichever thing they remember, if I’m not there, I’m ignoring them. By trying to be more accessible, I have raised everyone’s expectation of access. When I just had one phone, and wasn’t there, people thought I was off doing something worthwhile . . . at least they hoped.

“No pity!” might you say. “By having all these ways of getting in touch with you, you should expect folks to get frustrated when they can’t reach you.” True! But what if I’m mowing the yard and can’t hear the phone? What if I don’t turn on every computer every day? And what if…Heavens No!… my Palm Pilot starts beeping and it’s in the other room? There is a new law of Murphy which I have discovered: “Every means of access creates multiple means of non-access.” Batteries die . . . Brains fry . . .there are no limits.

We believe that God is accessible, just a prayer will do. But that raises the age-old question about God himself! “Why weren’t you listening when I needed you? Did you not check your messages? You could not possibly be riding through “Cellular Hell!” It would help if you checked your email’s more often. How could you have missed this important event? You’re God, after all. You’re supposed to be accessible! (Yes, I tried getting a hold of the guy at the church, but he was out mowing the lawn or playing “Put Put” or something.)”

God does listen, but do you?. Could it be that God is trying to get a response to you? Perhaps it was that message he left for you in the sunrise you slept through. Could it have been when your child reached up for you but you didn’t have the time. Maybe it was that beep . . . beep . . . beep of conscience that caused you to reach for the snooze button in the middle of that thing you were up to . . . or trying to ignore. And let’s not forget the obvious . . . that sermon you missed when you were out mowing the lawn or playing “Put Put” or something.

People who love each other usually know where each other can be reached, whether for an emergency or just to say “I love you.” God knows where you are, does it matter to you so much to think about where God is? Maybe you two should get together. Check your calendar. Don’t have your people call God’s people, this is personal. Is your life in your Palm Pilot or in the Palm of God’s Hand?

rev. Dennis P. Levin

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